Celebrating One Year

They say time flies when you're having fun!...Steve and I celebrated our first anniversary last month! One year already? It definitely flew by, but at the same time it feels like we've been married for longer than just one year. I feel very blessed to be Steve's wife :)

The transition to being a wife (and a stay-at-home wife on top of that) was a surprisingly easy one for me given all of the other transitions that went along with it. Steve and I work well together and he's very flexible and patient with me, so that helps. Not working actually probably helped a lot, too. (What a huge blessing in disguise!) A couple of pieces of pre-marital advice helped, too. Thought I'd share some of the wisdom given me...

1) Unexpressed expectations are a recipe for disappointment and conflict. If I don't tell Steve what I expect, how can I hold him to it? How can I reasonably be angry or disappointed if he doesn't deliver? Neither of us are mind readers, so good communication is a must! This goes for things even as small as "I need a hug right now." As for the reverse side, Steve apparently has very low expectations, so no problem there! ;)

2) My husband is not all-sufficient for me. He doesn't complete me (contrary to what Jerry Maguire would want us to believe is possible and ideal; he also didn't have me at hello, but that's another story!). When I don't expect him to do so, I can look to God for the things that only He can provide and not to Steve for those things.

3) Prefer one another. This just means serving one another and preferring that the other gets what they want instead of you getting what you want. When we disagree, it means wanting the other to have it their way. How unnatural! It works, but it has to go both ways for it to work. I think trying to do this lessens conflicts. (Except for the ones that go something like this: "We'll do what you want." "No, I'm trying to prefer what you want!" "Well, I'm trying to prefer what YOU want!") For the ladies, this principle also helps with the S word (submission). It's not hard to submit to someone or trust someone who you know prefers you.

[We're not perfect but striving to remember these things and more! We're both selfish sinners, so we need to constantly remind ourselves, especially about #3. (Well, I should speak for myself -- I need this reminder a lot!) It's not natural, but it is commanded that we love one another as we love ourselves (John 13:34-35, Matthew 22:39 -- after all, Steve is my closest neighbor! -- and more).]

We celebrated on our anniversary by spending a relaxing day together (Steve took the day off). We had sushi for lunch at our favorite local place, went to Target (a rare opportunity for Steve to do something besides work), and had a fancy dinner at Chez Panisse Cafe in Berkeley. (We got a gift certificate as a wedding gift! Thanks, T!)

As I said, I am very blessed and I thank God indeed! Looking forward to many, many more years!